Umbridge is a Fish
by TatraMegami
Summary: Set sometime during the fifth book, Umbridge finds that her office has been redecorated. Total crack and somewhat AU.
1. Umbridge is a Fish

A/N: Yes, another little crack drabble inspired by this prompt: Fish out of water, flooded, and diplomat. There will be a second little drabble coming out sometime later. :D

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Umbridge is a Fish

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Umbridge screamed when she opened her office door and water poured out. She ignored the fact that her shoes were soaked as she stormed into her office and started looking around for the source of the water. There didn't seem to be any definite source for the water, since it was pouring in under the window and out from the desk drawers.

Umbridge sloshed her way over to her desk and opened up the desk drawer. More water spilled out and she looked into the drawer to find goldfish swimming around. She shrieked again at the sight, mostly because all of her paperwork for the Ministry had disappeared. She frantically scanned the desktop, but the paperwork was truly gone.

She made her way over to the window and peered out, expecting to see someone directing a water charm to her office. She was quite surprised to find that there wasn't anything out the window. The water seemed to be appearing from nowhere, between the outside of the window and the inside of the window.

She opened up the window, but that didn't stop the water; in fact, it only increased the flow. It was like a geyser and she was forced to stumble back from the force of it. She turned towards the door to wipe the water out of her eyes and discovered that her Kitty plates were missing.

"My collectibles," she gasped. She stared at the wall for several minutes before realizing that there was a message written on the space left from her missing Kitty plates.

'You seemed like a fish out of water, so I took the liberty of improving your habitat. Unfortunately, cats eat fish and we would never want something bad to happen to you," the message read.

"My office," Umbridge wailed. She took out her wand and tried to banish the water, but it didn't work. Instead, water started trickling down from the ceiling. Her office was completely flooded, leaving her gasping like a fish out of water.


	2. The Perpetrators

A/N: Yeah, the characters insisted on having their own little chapter. :D I think this crack AU has been in contact with my Rebellion universe, so if you like these two fics, you might want to check out that story. :D And, I think this is done, because I should get back to Rebellion if I want to write anymore of this type of a thing. :D

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The Perpetrators.

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The trio cracked up, listening to Umbridge's shrieks of dismay from the classroom next to Umbridge's office. Of course the High Inquisitor never thought to check the surrounding rooms for those responsible for the prank. Then again, Umbridge never really thought about much of anything at all once something really got her going.

"Brilliant work, Hermione," Ron complimented when another shriek came from the office. The sound of water was stronger and he guessed that Umbridge had finally opened up her window.

"I'll never get how you always manage to find the perfect spells," Harry added, shaking his head and grinning in delight.

"Well, nearly perfect. I couldn't find anything on turning her office into a swamp after all," Hermione said. She pinned the two boys with a look before either one could say anything. "And you know very well my stance on your brothers, Ron."

"Eh, I don't think that Umbridge the fish is that bad. Sure, she looks like a toad, but she also kind of looks like a carp, don't you think?" Harry asked.

"Toads like water." Ron shrugged.

"How long do you think it will be until she goes running to a professor?" Hermione asked, leaning back against the teacher's desk.

"The better question is whether or not the teachers will do anything ofr her," Harry replied with a grin.

"You know how they were the day after Voldemort left," Ron pointed out.

"So, they'll probably just fuss around, figure out that it was us, and then leave to try to 'figure out' what is going on with her office," Hermione said.

"So, in other words, we're not going to get in trouble for this." Harry grinned as the implications hit him.

"Not unless it's Snape who finds us first," Ron replied.

"It's a good thing this classroom is empty, then, isn't it?" McGonagall's voice rang out.

The trio didn't even flinch as they twisted around to find their head of house standing in the doorway. "Hi, Professor," Harry chirped. "I suppose you heard all of the noise."

"I assume you did more than just fill her office with water?" McGonagall asked as she raised her eyebrow at them.

"A few things might have accidently disappeared when the goldfish moved in," Harry replied, giving her his best innocent look.

"Really? Well, I suppose there's nothing that can be done, then. There's no arguing against goldfish." McGonagall gave them a crafty smirk before sternly looking at them. "Just know that this does not extend beyond the goldfish, understand?"

"We understand," Hermione spoke up for all of them.

"This conversation never took place," Ron added.

"I suppose I should go see what the result was." McGonagall shook her head as Umbridge started yelling at the other teachers. "This classroom might want to make itself scarce for a few days."

McGonagall left and the trio could hear her voice being added to the drama next door. They listened for a short while before sneaking away, successfully getting away with turning Umbridge into a fish with water.


End file.
